Thursday, October 30, 2008

Candy feva!!!!!

I gotta admit, I've got a HUGE hankerin' for some candy corn.  Growing up in my house was all about these bad boys:

Brach's Mellowcreme Pumpkins, or what I like to call "The Devils Teets" due to the green stem/nip on top.  I just checked the nutritional content and 6 punkins are 150 calories.  But one serving back in the day was 1 bag.  Mom would actually have to hide them.  The pantry, on top of the cupboards, the vegetable drawer, and in the office were some of her favorite places.  She'd always eat them frozen out of the freezer with a glass of skim milk with ice.  Um... Ew.  Cause skim milk isn't already watered down enough.  

And is it just me or has "Fun Size" candy decreased in actual size since last year?  Are we truly in a Fun recession that we need to cut down on the amount of Fun?  

Do we need to keep an eye out for Mildly Amused Size, Fatigued Size, Blase' Size...  And who's the jerk-ass that came up with the size smaller than Fun Size?  What sick sonofabitch thought it would be funny?  Screw him, I'll eat the whole bag - that'll show him.

It's also probably a good thing that the tradition of Bobbing for Apples is pretty much dead.  There are some sickos trying to make "Bobbing for Razor Blade Apples" and "M&M or Barbiturate?" new party favorites.  

And I was going to dress up as Sarah Palin, but after I ordered the bikini and the gun, I totally changed my mind.  I could just go head-to-toe lycra and be Josh.  Just need the dirt bag mustache...

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