Friday, November 28, 2008

End of week ramblings 11/28/08

The economy is in the toilet, unemployment is nearing all-time highs, money is tight everywhere...  LET'S GO SHOPPING!!!

For the first and only time EVER, I decided to tag along on the annual Black Friday expedition.  We didn't get to Walmart until 5:15 or so.  Now we're not die-hards, crazies, or psychos and don't have the need to push and shove (unless provoked) and feel there's always enough to go around.  

Some folks seem to think it's necessary to be an @$$hole when it comes to Black Friday; pulling stuff off the shelves, and in many cases out of other baskets, before they even have a chance to pay for it.  It's seriously only a $90 GPS - you're gonna get what you pay for when you find out it doesn't work in cities with skyscrapers and it was just junk to begin with.  And Target might only have 15 Nintendo Wii's in stock, so God help you if you're not able to get one today.  Chances are you may have to wait another week.

It pays to be nice on a day like today.  "Excuse me," "Pardon," and "You can feel free to put that back in my cart a-hole" can go a long way.  Plus the folks working at the store for no benefits and minimum wage are more eager to please if you're not such a DB.

A great option would be to just not buy anything on Black Friday at all.  Buy Nothing Day as the gang at Swobo puts it.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel...  too bad the tunnel is a checkout line that's 8 deep and the cashier is still in training.

Have a thrifty weekend.  -H

Monday, November 24, 2008

Monday... Full Speed Ahead

Or not.  I dare you not to try and waste time today.  It's gonna be 60 today in the NoCo - friggin' 60 degrees!  It's Mid-November!!!  You just know we're going to get pounded...

But, if you're looking to kill off some time before you skip out early to enjoy the last possible bit of sunshine, give this a shot:

You can make your own bike HERE.  Stevil Kinevil from HTATBL (check the link on the right -->) turned me on to it.  Notice the Cinelli stem and Chris King headset?  Yea baby.  And the Japanese characters on the lantern translate as "I crapped my pants on a tough ride, so you probably don't want to steal this bike."  It's just missing a spot for my smokes.

Friday, November 21, 2008

End of week ramblings 11/21/08

Oh, Happy Friday!!  Um... yea.  Ok, to be honest, I started this EOWR (that's End Of Week Ramblings) blog without any topic in mind whatsoever other than knowing what has happened in the week previous.

And away we go.

Last Saturday started out with a massive-caloric-intake that is Schmidt's Bakery.

Yea, that Schmidt's.  It's gotta be the biggest bakery in the NoCo as well as heaven on earth.  They also have a section of authentic German meats, cheeses, and numerous other things that make me REALLY skinny.  Ang was totally checking out their wedding cakes too, which looked awesome - and since I've had ample time to watch Food Network, I can now use words like piping and fondent and know what the hell they mean.  I wonder if I could talk Schmidt's into doing bacon donuts...

(SIDENOTE: For more on the bacon donut, click then run HERE.)

Then spent the rest of the day with my parents to celebrate Mom's birthday.  SERIOUSLY PROFANE-BUT-HEARTFELT MOMENT:  I'm not gonna lie, my Mom is a tough lady that's not to be F'd with.  Now I don't throw the "F'd" word around much, mostly cause I hate to abbreviate curse words, but she's been through a bit of crap here and there.  She's cheated death as many times as you can count on one hand in the past couple years, so you know what that means -- Chuck Norris has a runner up for the award for Total Badass.  She truly does rock and constantly cracks my sh!t up on a regular basis.  FACT:  If you're ever in need of a good laugh, play games with your parents on the Nintendo Wii.  It's about as funny as watching your big sister as a kid piss her pants riding the tilt-a-whirl.  Still funny in current day.  But seriously, my Mom is rad and I'm thankful for being able to spend that time with her.

Speaking of thankful, it's already that time...

Before we venture into Thanksgiving bizness, can I just say it's about time this jackass is about out of office?  What a douche.  Back to thanksgiving - everyone has one turkey day childhood memory that still stand out above the rest.  Mine is a bit fuzzy but am pretty sure it involves me and Stevie getting in trouble for making Britt laugh so hard at dinner that she threw up onto her plate - right there at the table.  It's those holiday moments with the family that I cherish.

Here we are at the end, and whaddaya know, there are things to say - all one needs is an idea.  Or a poop joke, that seems to work the best.  

Alright, I'm off until there's better things to see n' say.  Give my best to the fam & friends this holiday and I'll maybe even give you a post-turkey bloated lowdown.

Have a Thankful weekend.  -H

Monday, November 17, 2008

Well, this sucks.

You know those people who say "it can always be worse," "you've gotta look at the glass as half full," and "quit picking at it - it'll never heal."  Always looking out for you.  Well, I'll be happy to thank you for your cliches after I get a callback.

Take this lucky lady for example.  Nice gal that looks to be in good spirits, a snappy dresser, appears to be intelligent (the glasses are a giveaway and she obviously spell checked her sign).  She may be out of work, but she's hitting the streets and getting her name out there.  However, to be an "out of work prostitute" one would have to first be a "working prostitute."  You've got to wonder what happened?  What's her cover letter say?  Who's her references?  And how would one become out of work in that business?  Brings a whole new meaning to "laid off" I guess.  Zing!

Can I just mention I have the greatest timing?  Out of work for about a month and a half now, economy sucks...  but at least I put gas in my car this morning for $1.87/a gallon - then rode my bike to the bank.  It's the little trips that add up.  I'd commute more by bike, I merely don't have the means now - winter here sucks and it's scary enough be in the bike lane when roads are clear.  We're lucky to get the neighborhoods plowed within a week LET ALONE bike lanes and trails.

The stress from being unemployed hasn't been too bad though.  I'm pretty sure it's my constant diet of cigarettes and the kid's leftover Halloween candy that's keeping me leveled.

My dentist is truly hating me right now.  You wanna see pissed off - wait till I tell him I switched to the natural toothpaste.  

Friday, November 14, 2008

End of week ramblings 11/14/08

Happy Friday!  Just a quick wrap up this week.  If you screw around on the internet at work and haven't heard of Jon Lajoie, you are apparently not screwing around enough.  Frankly, it makes me ashamed of you.  Watch this now:

If you want to pee your pants laughing, and frankly WHO WOULDN'T (Communists maybe) click HERE to check out all of Jon's YouTube video-funny-ha-ha's.  Keep the sound low, just in case you work with a bunch of prudes.  He's a bit of a potty-mouth, and I don't want to get reported to your HR lady.  I don't need that.

In other news, Veteran's Day was this week.  

Rich Abrahamson @ Coloradoan

For a bit of realism, get this:  For years my Dad trudged thru the jungles of Vietnam.  I've always wanted to talk to him about it, but only a few years ago realized that there's somethings that people just can't share or talk about.  I know he was my age when he was going thru the whole thing, and I can't imagine going thru that same thing myself.  Well, when I was a kid in Cheyenne, the company he worked for never let him have Veteran's Day off.  Never even offered it to him.  He never wanted to make a big deal of it, but this really pissed off my Mom and I.  How can you not even offer??  Well, when he started his new job here in Colorado a few years ago, they straight up offered it to him.  I call my Dad on Veteran's Day, and offer a word of thanks to all my "Vet Friends", and I hope you do the same.

Weather's changing...  Get your ski's & boards waxed, it's about time to get Concussed!!!

Have a warm weekend.  -H

Tuesday, November 11, 2008


Today is Veteran's Day.  And I don't care about your stance on the war.  I don't care about who you voted for or your opinions on the president-elect.  I don't care for your definition of marriage.  If only for one day, today is not about you.

Today, I think about duty, honor, and sacrifice.  I think about thousands of white marble headstones, color guards, and taps being played.  

I care about my friends and family who served, survived, and those who didn't.  I'm thankful for my freedom, and what it took to get it.

Thank you Dad, Stevie, and Grandpa Floyd.  Thank you friends and strangers.

Friday, November 7, 2008

End of week ramblings 11/07/08

Long time meth capitol of Colorado, Nederland out-does it self.  They've moved up to pot and crack as well.

As we found out last weekend, also home for some pretty sweet singletrack.  Pretty sure this was my first whack at the skinny's...  Here's Jeff after taking a whack at one of the gaps

Ehhh, close enough man.  At least you didn't land on your face - you mentioned your doctor said not to get mountains in it.  Great weather last Saturday: Sunny and 70s.  Eldora even was open, granted the pickin's were slim

Good 'Ol Andy has been the daredevil of the group this past summer.  Rolling thru cactus, unintentional 1/2 backflips, the man can do it all.  Here he's getting rad on a mini jump

Maybe not so rad - gotta watch the busted shoulder buddy.

Tonight it's date night with the old lady, and since we're kidless it's going to be Rock Bottom and Zack & Miri.  Damn I love me some Kevin Smith and I think Angie has a secret crush on Seth Rogen

Goofy, wears glasses, hairy, kind of a jackass...  don't know what she sees in him.  Good thing he's nothing like me.

Have an "uber" weekend.  -H

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Like my Japanese friend Ichiro would say...

Happy Erection Day.  If you haven't voted already, do so.  If you have, go ahead and get your free cup of Starbucks Coffee, free scoop of Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream, and free Krispy Kreme donut.  Then next week, stop by the doctors' office for Tylenol with codeine for the caffeine headache, diabetes medication for the sweets, and a discounted colonoscopy just for the fun of it.

Is a complimentary 2-cent "I Voted" sticker not enough?  When we were kids, if you got a sticker for even doing nothing at all, you thought that was awesome.  Now that you've done your civic duty, you expect to be compensated with access to the corporate world's snack and food service table?  GUESS WHAT?!  It's a small cup of BLACK coffee, a small ice cream scoop - no cone, and a small donut.  It's costing these stores near nothing cause they're predicting, and they'll be right, that you'll buy other crap when you're there.  You're really getting NOTHING!!!

My parents took me along to the polls when I was a kid, it wasn't the greatest time I ever had, but a lesson learned.  Change takes time, and patience; not freebies and comps.  

And let's hope the whole country catches onto this early voting thing.  Whatever might shorten the amount of time we're all badgered with these commercials, anything helps.

Completely unrelated, here's my future vote: Pedro in 2016.